Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did joe drown ? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How old are you? 20

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the kitchen cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a group of people who are systematiclly ruining a once well run family football club? steve kean , the venkys, and there advisors

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops