Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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who is mark

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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