Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats stupid and gay all of my friends

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a chair?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops