What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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the love boat

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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im a dragon, no im not

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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