im a dragon, no im not

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Jesus was a good guy

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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