If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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There's a car about to hit me.

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What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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