What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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There was a black man a Spanish man and an Asian in the back of a police car. The end

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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