Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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There was a black man a Spanish man and an Asian in the back of a police car. The end

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

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What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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