Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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YOU

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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penus

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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