You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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how do u kill a black kid ..... stabb him in the face with a nife

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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The person below me is weird.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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