Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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kieran scott has a huge back

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Okay, one second.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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