knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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knock knock get lost!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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