A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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A whale's vagina

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What is it called when a whole bunch of black people run down a hill? A race.

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

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Do you know what color comes after 9?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

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I just found out i have cancer.

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops