Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Poop swing

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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No.

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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