When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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