roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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elen degeneres is straight....

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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Gingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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