What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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How did the boy die in the holocaust? Cancer

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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