What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Bean.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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