What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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It smells like triangles in here.

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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yes... that's the joke

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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knock knock get lost!

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What is white black and Chinese A panda

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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