What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +37

whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A midget walks under a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +33

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops