Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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