What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

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WNBA

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Poop swing

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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