A guy was beet by his wife.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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WNBA

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Poop swing

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whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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There's a car about to hit me.

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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