Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Roses are red Violets are blue S*** is brown and so are you

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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whos the bitch now!?! you are.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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