Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops