Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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GONNA

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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My name is Harry.

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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i have two hands.

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Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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