Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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Jersey Shore

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These Jokes suck.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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Who lost World War II? The Jews.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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whats black and white and red all over? a zebra crossing after a horrible, horrible car accident

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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