Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma so fat, she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops