Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops