A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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The Detroit Lions

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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