- Anti Joke

Yo mama's so fat, that she's fat.

what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

my gave me a game i said thank you

Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

I died shortly after writing this.

How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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