if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An English man walks into a pub.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops