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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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Justin Bieber

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person who lives inside is depth.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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say cheese

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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Women's rights

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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