Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

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Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

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A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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Womens rights

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If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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