What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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i dont like chris

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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Andy Carrol

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#Hanging Degus

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops