While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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Why did Edna fall off a cliff? Edna is blind, and so lacks the visual perception and spatial awareness of other hillwalkers.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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Mitt Romney penis

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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What did Frieza say to Vegeta after killing his parents? "I killed your parents."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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