How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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