What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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Women's rights

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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Where do black guys sit in the bus? Enywhere theres a free seat

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops