What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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What is 2 + 2? 3 LOL

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Q) Why was six afraid of seven? A) Seven was black.

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Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

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Gary Busey walk into a bar. Everyone Ran out noticing the potential danger.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops