What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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leon harney ya pikey

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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knock knock who's there aids

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops