what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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