What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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What's clear and wet? water

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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What is a chair?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops