Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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