Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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69 :)

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once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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