A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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i like turtals and kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops