A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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Xbox One

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops