Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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AIDS

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they would like to drink, after respnding, paying and receiving their drinks, they sit down to drink them. What a lovely scene of ethnic diversity

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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