"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is something you would not normally find in a china cabinet? Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a man said hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops