As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

What did Charlie Sheen say to Rebecca Black? If you care about the punchline I hate you.

whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

A black guy walks into a basketball court.

Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...