Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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