What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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do you want to hear a joke?

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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lol

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops