Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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0 + 0 = 0

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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I'm a champion. I do what I want.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops