Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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