How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

TWIX PAUSE!

Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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