If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Everyone around him moves away from the grown man talking to his imaginary friend.

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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one day i went to bed

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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5

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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