What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

thumb_up thumb_down -22

obama

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

thumb_up thumb_down -26

(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The person below me is weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops