roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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poop is very very yummy.

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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