What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

penis

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

A baby gets hit by a bus.

What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

Republicans

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

do not read this(this is intended to be read)

There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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