He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops